I am writing this column a bit early this week—mostly as a defensive measure. As long as I’m writing, I’m under air conditioning. And I’m not mowing the second half of my yard.
I mowed the first 5000 square yards of my yard this morning, but then I had a noon meeting. Since it’s 103 degrees now, I’m willing to wait until later to finish.
The legendary David “Davy” Crockett had already served in the U.S. Congress (from Tennessee), but he lost the 1835 election and famously fired a verbal volley toward the fools who failed to again elect him: “You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas.” This summer, my own feeling is that no choice is required. We can easily do both at the same time. Sometimes things just work out.
That said, I am willing to wait to mow the little chunk of Texas in my vicinity until the hellish temperatures abate just a bit later this evening. One of the nicest features of this region of Texas is that “high plains” are, well, high. Altitude, I’ve decided, is a gift from God. I think also, as I cast my eyes over toward my friends and faithful readers in New Mexico, that mountains and snow are among God’s best gifts, and the real deals require what? Say it together in an attitude of praise to the Almighty, truly the “Most High”: ALTITUDE! (Okay, for purists, I just mention that in this column, I’m using “altitude” and “elevation” pretty much interchangeably, and I’m not distinguishing between “true” altitude, “absolute” altitude, etc. It matters not much here. But it matters a lot if you’re flying a plane.)
In Muleshoe, Texas, where I live, affectionately known as the Greater Muleplex, our altitude is 3800 feet. It’s roughly 70 miles down to Lubbock. I still consider that a (truly boring) trip, though most of our citizens make the trek more often than they change their minds. Make that trip, and you’ll descend to 3200 feet. Keep on heading down—say, on down U.S. Hwy 84 to Post, Texas—and you will have dropped off the Caprock Escarpment (the “Cap”) and managed to lose 600 more feet (down to 2600).
People have gone farther down and survived. Right after our son Jeff went to play college football in Abilene, we called to ask how it was. He said that the level of intensity was definitely high, but, physically, anyone who could survive a Coach David Wood (Muleshoe) workout could survive any workout. But, he said, “the humidity is killing me.” He was still in Texas, but he’d descended much closer to the other option Davy Crockett had mentioned.
Altitude.
You may have noticed that Texas towns/cities list their populations—not their elevations—on their signs. I’ve thought about this. I could be wrong, but I think it’s because most below-the-Cap Texas towns feel some inherent shame in being low-lyers. It’s bad theology—yea, verily, mistaken theology—and it makes no sense at all, really, but I think that deep down they just feel that they must have done something morally wrong to be consigned to the desperately altitudinally challenged nether regions of the state.
It’s like the guy who slips on the ice (oh, heavenly thought, ice!) and straightway opines through his moans, as a bone sticks out through his shin, “Aw, *!@*d^, I wonder what I did to deserve that!?” The rational answer is almost always, nothing really. Ah, but, unbidden, we say it, thereby saying more than we mean to say.
So, conversely, be assured, dear friends who may be consigned to the nether regions in the present heat wave, that I’m aware it’s no moral superiority that allows my neighbors and me to at least experience, even though it is presently 103, some significant cooling down after sundown. We’ll drop into the low 70s sometime after midnight and, for a few hours at least, it will make a little less sense to rush into going berserk because of the heat.
I know. We’re short of scenery here. We’re mostly dry, often-airborne dirt with some scorched and drought-stricken crops scattered around. But at least up here we get a wee bit of daily relief in the evenings.
I’ve managed now to put off lawn-mowing long enough to catch maybe a 10-degree break before I fire up the mowing machine.
Yes, friends, that’s the blessing of altitude. Doubt I can pull it off, but I sure would like to import some more of it. Bring in a mountain or two. And way more snow. If I can figure that out, I intend to propose listing the newly-inflated elevation prominently on our town’s sign. Along with a big thermometer so we can watch the evening temps drop even more quickly.
If that happens, I’ll probably need the Lord’s help to watch my attitude—about my altitude.
You’re invited to visit my website, and I hope you’ll take a look there at my new “Focus on Faith” Podcast. At the website, just click on “Podcast.” Blessings!
Copyright 2023 by Curtis K. Shelburne. Permission to copy without altering text or for monetary gain is hereby granted subject to inclusion of this copyright notice.
Good Words Can Point to Nuggets of Truth
I enjoy reading, and I particularly enjoy reading good columnists. “Good” may mean that I agree with them. I can be narrow that way. But “good” also means that they make me think. I do that rarely enough that I appreciate the help.
My favorite columnists are my favorite columnists in large part because they’re good at wielding words to cut through fog and haze and mental mushiness. At least, they help me see what’s going on around us all through the eyes of someone I’ve learned to trust as a no-nonsense observer. At best, I get to glide along for a while on words given wings by a writer who is a master at launching them.
Just FYI, the late Charles Krauthammer was one of my favorites. His books, especially the compilations of his columns, are incredibly good. I’ve always enjoyed George Will, a man guaranteed to expand your vocabulary and slow to put up with nonsense. A lover of baseball (and a baseball scholar!), he’s good at calling balls and strikes. His writing pointed me toward the late William Zinsser who literally wrote the book On Writing Well—and wrote brilliantly. I love reading Lance Morrow. “Brilliant” is not over-much praise for him as well.
My favorite columnist for a good while now has been Peggy Noonan. Some of the best money I spend is for (this sounds like a contradiction in terms) the online version of the Wall Street Journal print edition. Their regular columnists are very good—and they have Peggy Noonan, the best of all, I think. Her weekly columns are more than worth the price of the subscription.
I hear many people boiling over these days about media bias. I don’t blame them; the slants are obvious. All I have to do is mention “far to mostly right” or “far to mostly left,” and you can immediately name news organizations occupying those slots.
I was once standing at a border crossing between Uganda and Kenya when a Greyhound-type bus rolled past. It was rolling under its own power, but it had obviously “rolled” before. Over and over. It looked like a barely mobile parallelogram, a four-sided object, kind of like a matchbox squashed out of square with wheels attached. It was so whomper-jawed that the windows were broken out and the outside corners of the tall seats jutted out through the geometric plane on one side.
Our national news is often like that. With editorials and commentaries, you expect opinion. But my opinion is that with far too much of the national news, we get slant. Like that bus, it rolls down the highway, listing or almost tumbling off left or right. That is wrong, unethical, and unprofessional, but it’s been a long time since it surprised us much. The various news organizations have long ago pasted their ads on their chosen sides of the slanting bus.
I like it when I have the feeling that I’m reading—traveling on a bus—that at least makes an attempt not to roll down the road sideways. The news is reported “straight” and the commentary is labeled as such. Hearing or reading such, I feel that maybe I’m heading down the road toward at least something that squares a bit with reality, that I’ve learned something. Maybe even some truth.
One of the things I enjoy about a good column is that, even as the issues and news items of the day change, some of the nuggets of truth the columnists dig out in their particular mining still glitter days and months and even decades later.
How’s this for prediction? In one of his columns, G. K. Chesterton (no one ever road words like Chesterton) wrote, “We shall soon be in a world in which a man may be howled down for saying that two and two make four” (Aug. 18, 1926; thanks to Brad Shorr for his compilation of Chesterton quotes from The Illustrated London News).
And, regarding political parties, “I do not particularly object to the pot calling the kettle black. The Party System is made like that. But I do strongly object to the pot calling the kettle white” (Chesterton, Feb. 21, 1914).
But the real reason I suppose that good columnists write, and that I enjoy reading their work, is again put into words by Chesterton: “I have gone through most of my life looking for an uninteresting subject—or even an uninteresting person. It is the romance of my life that I have failed to find either of them” (Jan. 11, 1913).
And there’s a deep truth. Our Creator made a world full of marvels, and most marvelous of all are our fellow beings.
You’re invited to visit my website, and I hope you’ll take a look there at my new “Focus on Faith” Podcast. At the website, just click on “Podcast.” Blessings!
Copyright 2023 by Curtis K. Shelburne. Permission to copy without altering text or for monetary gain is hereby granted subject to inclusion of this copyright notice.
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